Club Soda member and regular guest blogger Kim is now six months into her sober journey! She shares with us today the different phases she has experienced and how going alcohol-free (AF) has changed her daily routines.
Phases of alcohol free-dom
So 6 months yesterday for me – GET IN! I feel like I should blog something profound and deep, however I am as profound as a box of cornflakes and as deep as a puddle so that clearly isn’t going to happen. I thought I would blog about how I have absolutely no more cash since I’ve turned sober. Seriously – not a penny more! This is why…
“WHY THE F*CK AM I DOING THIS –THIS IS A F*CKING LIBERTY” PHASE
I had my first rancid month. I kept home from work missing my beloved bottle of red poison (or two). To keep myself out of trouble, I created a disco bath in which I spent hours in every night and a shed load of cash on lasers, bath bombs, glow balls, bath dye, speakers, the lot. A heap of cash on dark chocolate and cheesecake (I even spent £7 to get a late night delivery of a single slice of cheesecake sent to me one night!) for my newly acquired and unwanted sweet tooth. A fortune on different fake cherry brandy chocolates until I found the right ones. New PJs, new AF books, body creams. Disgusting, noxious, vile, foul herbal teas of every flavour. A Rubix cube. Anything to make my nights in bearable.
“OH, I MAY BE ABLE TO DO THIS” PHASE
Involved getting a grip and starting to self-care. Massages, manicures, pedicures, haircuts. More books (not all AF related now). Meditation classes (free but required donations, and you can’t walk out without donating as some Zen god person may de-Zen you, so you overcompensate in the donations just to ensure your Zen isn’t removed by said Zen god). Re-igniting my love affair of rave and trance music lead to brand new very expensive earphones (£50 for something I’m going to shove in my lugs – what was I thinking?) A mini break, nice meals – lots and lots of nice meals. Bin all the disgusting, noxious, vile, foul herbal teas. A new love affair with coffee, so bought every kind of coffee available and new coffee machines. Fake booze – 3 bottles of Seedlip at £24 each and a million different bottles of AF shite wine. £55 on different kinds of vitamins. New bed linen – beautiful new, crisp, white bed linen.
“OH CHECK IT – I AM DOING THIS” PHASE
Caffeine overdose. No caffeine ever again – EVER. More money spent on a million different de-caff coffees. Shed a load of undrunk AF wines and Seedlip gathering dust as I no longer like the taste of wine or spirits. A whole new wardrobe has to be bought as I threw out all my small clothes when I had time in my “OH I MAY BE ABLE TO DO THIS” phase. I am now small again (size 8/10 from size 14). A few running accessories for my one week running career that ended because I couldn’t breathe when I ran and weed myself a bit each time I tried. De-veining my face. So my moon face looked like my Granddaughter had got a thin red biro and scribbled on it. A lot. The joys of drinking and broken veins – hoorah. I am no longer a drinker, so I am no longer going to wear that face. Veins zapped, twice dontcha know as I must have exploded masses of those red boozy vessels during my drinking years – expensive and sore. A cleaner, a really crap cleaner. Another cleaner to clean after the crap cleaner I can’t fire because I’m rubbish like that. A facemask with speakers in so I can listen to rave music all night in bed and block out EX-OHs pig snoring.
“LIVING MY LIFE” PHASE (THIS IS THE BEST PHASE SO FAR)
AF and loving it. Realising there is a whole wide world of experiences out there and I want to do them all – now – everything! Spa days, art shows, eating out constantly, bombing around the UK. Airb&b is now my favourite website. Discovering the joys of tropical Norf all on my own! Meeting sober chicks, lots of lovely sober chicks (and guys!). A rave, a shark dive. Mocktail nights out, theatre shows. A sing-a-long, a posh afternoon tea. Walking gear as I now love walking as I don’t wee myself when I do that. A midnight half marathon walk booked. More raves booked. A helicopter ride booked (as I’m petrified of heights). Every week I’m out at least 3 or 4 times. I always used to cancel events due to being hungover – not anymore! Loads more stuff on my to-do list, which I have put on the wall at work so my boss or anyone else may want to contribute to the cause! If anyone fancies a night at the dogs, a boxing match or doing fishyfeet please let me know!
What I have learnt is the cost of living can be expensive (although obviously doesn’t have to be!). I wasn’t living at all before. I was just a lush-head fuckwit who was drinking her way through a very sedentary half-life. I get that I will probs have to start reigning it in at some point and start finding some cheaper things to do… and at some point be happy to “just be”… but right now, I love being broke. I adore being sober. I love finally living my life. I love being free.
**Footnote – just had an email. My cleaner has resigned – off to travel!! It was my job to bloody resign her!! Well that’s one thing ticked off my “to do” list….