A Club Soda member writes a letter to alcohol – how it has made them feel over time, and why now it is time for her to quit drinking, and say goodbye to alcohol.
(In my research into quitting alcohol over the past months, I came across a site which advised writing a letter to alcohol, explaining why you have to say goodbye. This is mine…)
I remember when we first met. It was France and I was 36 years old. I had lived life up to then unaware of how good you were for me. You made me feel sexy, for the first time in my life. You also allowed me the freedom to say what I was thinking… Oh the joy of that, guilt free… until the next day of course.
I only met you maybe once a month in the beginning and only one glass at a time. That was enough of you to make me feel good and to stop my thoughts from whirling around in my head. Of course as time went by I wanted to meet you more. I wanted to feel that good feeling more and more often.
Then you became needy and you wouldn’t let me go a day without you. I tried to block you out, I poured you down the sink on many occasions, thinking “That’s the end of that” but of course you kept coming back. At every party you called to me… “Gill, I can make you feel good, I can make you feel sexy, I can give you confidence and allow you to let your hair down. Come on Gill you know you want to.”
And I always went back to you my little friend.
Now I am 50 and my children have left home and you became a substitute for them. You kept me company when I felt lonely and you never left me or let me down. And now I don’t want to let you go. I know you are so bad for me. You don’t make me feel good anymore, quite the opposite. My face is puffy from too much of you and all those extra calories you kindly supplied have piled pounds on my once slim body.
Yes, you allow me to say what I want, but sometimes what I want to say is mean and my usual kind disposition is very firmly put away, and you gleefully encourage the mean girl to surface. My husband knows the mean girl very well.
Yes, you allow me to cry. I thought that was very kind of you in the beginning, to allow me to release all those buried emotions. But there is no end to it with you. The crying continues long after I have any idea what I am crying about. That is not kind of you at all.
As a matter of fact, I have realised that you are not kind, you are not caring, you are not good company, YOU ARE NOT MY FRIEND.
I already have enough so-called friends in my life who have let me down, and I have gotten rid of them. It is time for you, Alcohol, to join that group of former friends.
I’d love to be able to say that I will miss you, but that would be a lie. I cannot wait to see the back of you.